thank you stander for your update. I know that compared to MANY others in this world I am very blessed. to go through D twice, both times committed to my spouse and still fail, seems VERY hard to believe it random chance although at least from explaining each sitch to my IC, she tells me that each was unique to itself and the only thing they have in common was you were in both. i just..stupid as it will sound, loved her. i struggle very much with how/why W can just drop us, but I guess that's a pointless endeavor. i'm just stuck stander, simply do not want to turn the page. with women after this utterly cold and cruel abandonment, I just don't see any desire for another try. perhaps in this self-absorbed world, my best option is to become the same way and happy with it.
D had her first day of pre-school. Even though I had her on that day, I thought W would come for such a new important chapter in D's life, but nope. IC says W is on the extreme end of the anxiety avoidance scale so who knows maybe this was why she didn't show. have to speak with atty sometime soon, details of the sep agreement to be discussed. W is full throttle about D'ing me ASAP. maybe that's the best thing, shoot this guy and put him out of his hope and misery. so many memories, dreams, good times flood into me...such a terrible contrast between reality and all the wonderful times we shared. i'm just in a tormented sad state, I hope someday I can find happiness again...at least get these selfish women away from me for good, of course who am I fooling, maybe I was the cause of this failure all along. peace I guess I wish for more than happiness, forever love is impossible and unattainable.
