^^^^^ As EQU said. She has been detaching from you for at least 2 years, so in that manner of speaking, she is 2 years ahead of you on this journey. You can catch up in the detaching department, but you do have to get your a$$ in gear. My aim on these boards is to give back some of what it has given me and to try to shorten the journey to healing and wholesomness for newcomers. It makes me immensely sad to see all the huge inflow of new people here, but the knowledge that they've come to the right place, comforts me. I suggest you reread DB. I also suggest you Google Heart's blessing's page and have a read on the materials there. It will give you great insight into the whole matter.
The main thing is, it is not you, it's her. That is not to say that you are without blame in your marriage. You own up to your own mistakes, and no more. Accept it for what it is, that is that you 2 are both to blame for the troubles. And most importantly, you have to forgive yourself.
Do GAL. Get out of the house. Use the lungs full of air. Get them endorphins flowing. Get busy learning new skills. Your work will suffer in this initial phase of your journey. But you have to rise above it and crush it at work. It will get your selfesteem up and god knows you need any bit of selfesteem you can muster up.
