Thank you so much for the feedback. When I kicked him out last week he said he was going to go forward with a divorce. A day or 2 later he told me he started applying for one, he said he was sorry and that our marriage is done. He hasn’t brought it up since then but I am sure he will.
I so not want a divorce, I would like us to try to work through this. But if he goes forward with a divorce I guess I will not really have that choice. I think financially I am in a better position a bit, but he has always said we don’t need lawyers etc.
He is really doing a number on me emotionally, and no matter how much I try to get control of the situation, it seems like he continues to run the show. I don’t know how.
If he files for divorce, you need to retain a lawyer so that your spouse does not take advantage of you or manipulate you. And if your goal is to save your marriage, your hiring a lawyer to draw out the process as long as possible, your making it as expensive as possible for your husband, and your taking aggressive positions will likely further those goals. From what I've read it seems like your husband is afraid of the legal process and is lying in order to control that process. That is a common tactic and a common reason why a spouse threatens, but doesn't file for divorce. As the legal process unfolds, your husband may change his mind and soften his position.