I know I should meet with lawyers, I havent brought myself to even start that process.
Meeting with the lawyers is to get yourself educated. It is also about keeping your H from retaining the best lawyers. Please make some calls today.
You don't need to rush into the legal process. If he has met with a lawyer, then you should definitely meet with a lawyer promptly. If he is only threatening to file (as so many people are), he is making the threat in order to control the process and keep you locked in fear. And he is doing that because he is afraid of the legal process. In many legal situations, there is a party who has an incentive to move through the legal process quickly and a party that does not have that incentive. Determine whether that applies to your situation. If you are in a financially stable situation and he is in a less financially stable situation, then you should the process forward slowly.
As for the advice of meeting with the best lawyers in town, that only works if you live in a small town and can conflict out all of the top lawyers. Otherwise, you are wasting your time. Most divorces are very easy to handle from a legal perspective. It is the emotions that complicate things and you are in control of your own emotions.
I understand that all of this is easier said than done, but it is true. The primary skill that lawyers bring to the table is the ability to see things from a neutral and detached perspective.
And if he says he wants a divorce, I would simply say "okay."
