Those are an excellent start and I'm glad that you can see that.
I hope Andrew comes along because he always talks about the Art of War, which I read so long ago I've forgotten it. But I think there is something there (or somewhere else) about not engaging in the fights you don't have to. Sometimes you just have to take the blow, sometimes you have to deflect it, sometimes you have to find another way, and sometimes, usually when protecting yourself and the things you value, you have to fight.
Is the situation with the ex one where you can just accept it and move on?
Is it one where you can do nothing and let him burn himself out with his hatred and vitriol?
With the very narcissistic ones you can't fight the fight. They love the fight. You also can't lay there. They love doormats. You have to outwit them or outlast them. Most of them are pretty shallow.
Do you need something specific from the case? Can you distract him away from what that is and make him think it is something else you really want and must have?
Are there deadlines pushing the action, or can you do nothing and wait and let him spin and burn himself out? If you can, that's what I would do (shall I say am doing--I've told my lawyer I won't spend one dollar unless I am absolutely forced to spend it. His case. He needs to move it forward. It's cheaper to just sit and wait.).
If you fight him blow for blow, you will lose. He will fight to the death, he will fight bloody, and he will cheat to win. If you can, do nothing. Just wait. There will come a time when he wants it to be done. When he wants it to be over. And then it will be over.
Don't show him stress. Don't show him fatigue. Can someone else exchange the dog so he doesn't get to see you cry. He doesn't deserve to see your emotion.
