WAW pt2

[jaylove]

Oh what a week.
Monday W returned the two younger kids (10+9) to the family home and asked if she could come in and take half the school uniform. I said that was fine and she went to the boys’ bedroom, I left her for five minutes and then went in - because she has returned a few times to the house and taken non personal items I had to make sure she wasn’t taking anything else.
She immediately started swearing at me and insulting me and I said this was unacceptable - she may on paper share ownership of the house, but she has moved out and it is my home and it’s wholly inappropriate to come into my home and be abusive to me.
She then started gathering up non school uniform clothes and I asked her what she was doing “I f-ing bought them” was her reply. I bought the house before we were even together and in good faith put it in joint names two and a half years ago, so I asked her if that was the basis on how she wanted to approach mediation- who bought whatever gets to keep it. She didn’t reply.
I ended up grabbing the pile of non school clothes she had in her hand and asked her to leave.

That really set me up in a bad way for the day.

I wrote an email to my Lawyer detailing what had happened and told him I had recorded the whole thing on my watch. He then wrote to my W’s lawyer and today we received a reply which said that my W claimed I was abusive first and that I had refused to let her take any school uniform from the house, and that it was unacceptable that I was recording these interactions with my W. We are in the U.K. and it seems that without the consent of the other person, recordings are inadmissible in U.K. courts- regardless the recording still clearly shows that my W is happy to lie to her L.


Then yesterday my Dad came over - he lives in NYC so he’s come back to the U.K. for a month.

My niece was playing on his iPhone X and she asked me to help her use it, I’ve not had my hands on his phone so fiddled about with it and (I know this is wrong of me) had a peek at the messages between my brother and my father.
Back when I first revived the draft divorce petition, on my lawyer’s suggestion a letter was written to my W saying that we felt that there had been many serious challenging things that had put the marriage under a huge amount of strain, and would she consider choosing a marriage counsellor and trying counselling.
My brother had messaged my dad to say had he heard about this, to which my dad replied “pathetic, what a loser” “he’s the weakest of my sons” - i lost my wife 14 years in tragic accident, remarried current W, had cancer three times in the last 9 years and now am really struggling with this divorce in progress. Talk about kicking a man when he’s down.
My dad is a classic narcissist - spoilt single child who never admits he’s in the wrong and unable to have empathy with other people’s aituations, but, aged 48 as I am I found his comments (which of course I wasn’t meant to see) so incredibly hurtful.
Needless to say I flipped out and told my dad I was glad that I now knew his true feelings about me, my brother and I were both going to have him stay in our respective homes for the month. I said that he was dead to me and shortly after left my brothers house with my kids.
No contact from my dad today, no surprises there as narcissists don’t apologise.
My therapist said it was appalling and that I should really question why I would want someone like that in my life?

All in all a crappy week.

And I thought it was hard last week.