Did you all ever feel like it was getting worse at times? Like I feel today? Did feel like you were just spinning your wheels and find it very hard to detach and let go and finally move on? I get to that point once in a while and then "POW" something happens. I get a set back. Im not going to let her know I am bothered by her trip. Just acting as if its another day.
Yeah, buddy. We did tell you it is going to get worse. I am sorry for you. We were all at the dark place you are at now. It does get better, it really does. You have to grind trough it. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Originally Posted by LANE777
So this is a DB forum. Were here to try and save our M by doing these tactics....detach,180 and GAL.
We all came here with the aim to save our marriage. We did not even consider ourselves. The secret is not to save the marriage. We have to save ourselves. Our very core is at risk. We get a do over on rebuilding and reshaping ourselves. The prize at the end of that path is awesome, it's LANE 2.0.
Originally Posted by LANE777
I know you guys don't know my W like I do. But based on your experience / history. A couple that had a great R and M. Then all some one flattered her at work to the point she left me. Do you think she will ever want to R or even T ? What are the odds. I know nothing will happen until she knows Im completely detached. I need a little boost of confidence today more than anything. Let me know guys.
You are suffering from rose colored glasses syndrome my friend. Just as she saw all bad in the marriage you are seeing all good in the marriage. The truth is probably somewhere in between. All marriages fall in that category. I am going to be blunt with you buddy, the odds are stacked against you with regards of saving the marriage. The marriage is gone. That does not mean that a new relationship is not possible, but the marriage as you knew it, is gone.
And another thing. Try not to take her actions personally, it is not you, it is her. There was/is something inside her that was/is damaged. She more than likely has issues from her youth. And if was not the guy at work, there would be some other dude. It's not the dude's fault either, it's all on your W.
And do not go thinking that she is all happy and you feel like $hit. It is a facade, a front, a mask. There is horrible torment underneath. The mask will fall, not right away, but it will fall and I promise you, you will see the hurt in her.
You are not alone buddy. We're here for you, we are going to help you get trough it. Stay strong buddy, your kids need and deserve an awesome dad.
