Husband left for second time - 7

[Davide]

Nicole,

I am not religious at all (although I am trying to develop a non-religious spirituality) and I didn't think there was anything offensive in your post. Many people here have told me that they are praying for me, or made other religious observations, and I take them for what they are - genuine expressions of caring coming from a different perspective/tradition than what I subscribe to. I haven't felt excluded at all.

Ultimately many of these spouses must know what they're doing is wrong because it's hurting their loved ones and their actions are self-serving which isn't how it's supposed to be in marriage.

I think in your case and in many of the sitches here that is clearly true. Breaking up a family and putting children through this process is horrible. But in cases like mine, without children, is it really unethical to walk away from a marriage that you are not happy in? I don't know that it is. I think one of the biggest lessons that I have learned from this process is that we are responsible for our own happiness, that we need to be self-sufficient, that we need to be "enough." If that is the true, isn't there a case to be made that walking away from a marriage that is dragging you down can be an ethical decision?