too late?

[SteveLW]

My advice is if you are still married, wear your ring. People take their ring off so that others can see they are available. If you do not want to be available, and you want to save your marriage, then you should wear your ring NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SPOUSE DOES! This is not a tit-for-tat. This is about what is the right thing to do.

Just thinking, that I cook meals for him, do his laundry,

So stop. Don't cook for him anymore. Don't do his laundry. He has fired you from being his W (or is trying to) show him what it means to not have you as a wife.

but find it hard to find the balance between not chasing and not being cold.

We all do, What I suggest is that if you have to choose between the two, you lean towards being cold. But continue to work on it. Not chasing but being upbeat and friendly can coexist.

kiwi, it is never too late to DB. I just responded to another poster earlier today about this. The key is that DBing isn't to save your relationship, it is to save yourself. If you DB to save your MR you will fail. If you DB to save yourself you will succeed, and maybe a side benefit will be that you save your MR.

There is no magic bullet.