I can't help but check in on you. Your story is like a car crash. I just have to watch.
I like the above commenter. Bc I have to agree. After stepping back fro you and just reading, I honestly do not think you are any better than you were. Well maybe slightly. But I think you have went totally off topic. You go fromone post to the next flip flopping on whether or not you want to be married, but you expect her to be full on committed. And you are dating. That is a sore subject for me. Reason 1 - no way to stay committed to fixing yourself and marriage while galavanting around on dates with someone new. Reason 2 - why on earth would you drag an innocent person into your marriage. Bc whether or not you want to admit it, you are still married. It's not fair to this person. Reason 3 - if this said person knows that you are married, I question why they would even consider you, a married man.
My main reason for posting, you sound very chaotic. You read chaotic.
If your wife were my friend, I would be telling her to run! Flip the script and think of your actions. Is that the person you want to be. If so, continue.
