I know the more things I change in the house, the less he is going to feel like it is home.
Who cares? it is no longer his home.
Quote
But I guess at this juncture I cant do things based off of what im afraid his reaction will be. I have to do things for me and for the baby. And I want to feel good.
A much better way to look at it!
Quote
I am so afraid that I will be so sad this year I wont enjoy any of it again, and with a baby we should be having so much fun, going to pumpkin patches, enjoying the season. I am determined to still do those things with her.
Choose happiness over sadness! Doing those things will MAKE you happy. Sitting home being sad will MAKE you sad. Choose happiness!
Quote
Of course I would LOVE for him to be a part of it all, but clearly that isnt looking like the case.
Why at this point? Every interaction with him sets you back. Plan these fun things for you and your D! You are never going to make progress by focusing on him.
Quote
I have allowed myself to miss out on so much already due to being so sad. I dont want to anymore. And I know if the divorce starts to happen it is going to REALLY do a number on me.
See my choose happiness comment above. Believe it or not this is MORE in your control than you think! Is it hard? Yes. But choosing happiness eventually becomes true happiness. If you let it.
Quote
Its like I try to prepare myself for all the bad to come so it isnt so much of a blow. The BD was almost a year ago and it was truly the most earth shattering time in my life. I dont want that to happen again. I am a mom now, I have to be able to pick myself up. I want him to WANT to be with me and want to be my partner still, but I guess right now he just wants to live his own life and still be a dad, and I have to accept that.
Sometimes I feel like you don't really let the words we type sink in. That you pick and choose the ones you want to hear. kech you will never get over him by focusing him on him. You will never get him back if you don't get over him. Here is the kicker. Once you get over him, he may come crawling back. However, you may not want to accept him back at that point. Happens all the time.
Now I know your next reaction: "Not wanting him back scares me!" It shouldn't. Your goal should be to move on with or without him. If you cannot entertain moving on without him you are setting yourself up for a lot of pain and sadness.
CHOOSE HAPPINESS.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/04/1807:29 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
