DB / Detach, WAW... piecing

[Did]

We go to lunch together with D4 today and talked in person this afternoon after dropping her at first day of school. I’m really torn on what to do. Back away, go for it... divorce. I want the R but she seems far from healthy. I was ready to divorce a few days ago but when she pulls me back it’s like the rubber band snaps me back. So no I’m not detached.

With new woman I feel like we could have long term lasting love as companionship that grows over time. But the passion isn’t there for me. I think it is for her. I’ve told her I’m not sure I’m ready for something so serious. And she seems so sure and I’m not. Maybe I should just stop seeing her. Already been some tears shed on her end last night when I told her that.

W has said she wants to get to know each other and see how it goes. I have a friend who said the same thing w his wife after separating and they got back together and have been been for years.

Yes she pressures to get her way. She is all over the place. She says she’s physically attracted thinks so highly of me respects me but may not be ready to date. Says maybe we should divorce because she thinks it’s a control issue because we’re still married. I said if we divorce I’m probably not going to want to talk much at all. Or date. She says what’s that mean are you going to be mean to me. She’s so scared of me being mean... At one point she said she’s not ready to commit to dating one person but then she said you know my values and morals I’ve never dated more than one person at a time. Maybe she’s not ready to date. All her words.

I shouldn’t be married to this person at this point, right? I guess I should just pull back away unless she commits to wanting more. She did say me not talking to her for the last months gave her time to think. What I want is to date and have fun together.

We’re supposed to talk on the phone tonight.

I see IC / MCtomorrow. Part of me wants to tell her or invite her but I guess that’s the wrong move.

I’m really tired of this but I guess overall ther has been some progress. It seems like our relationship is like a fractured plate glued together. Is there a way to get it back stronger?

Advice appreciated.