Sorry that you are here. I have been quietly reading your sitch for a while now.
Your posts are all focused on HIM. What are you doing? How are your 180s going? Are you GALing? What goals are you setting for yourself? The only thing you can control in this sitch is yourself.
Hang in there. It will get easier with time and detachment.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019