You are getting great advice on here. I think it is completely normal to have moments of anguish and misery, but obsessing about WH and what he is doing or whom he is with is completely unhelpful. As others have said your focus needs to be entirely on yourself and your Ds. You talk about wanting to raise strong Ds - nothing will teach them more than watching the example that their mother sets. They will take their cues from you, from your actions far more than your words. Be the woman you want them to be.
You can do this. We are all supporting you from afar.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
