A quick weekend update.
On the MR side, a very memorable and sad weekend.
Our anniversary came and went. No word to each other at all.
W was actually more pleasant that day, asking little things that she normally wouldn't so that was nice I guess.
A few hikes over the long weekend and spent some time with my kids. I avoided any kind of serious discussions and only initiated conversations as they related to the kids or some household issue. No R or MR talks at all.

Secured my A and have a meeting with them next week. I am not excited about this, but I do need to be prepared, know where I stand and be ready.

So other than the Anniversary sadness (I would imagine she remembered it too, but didn't show much either). And no one saw me sad in the lease. It was a rather uneventful weekend. I got a lot done around the house, did some work and ran the kids where ever they needed as they had a fairly full weekend.

These last several days I know I am way more detached and the day-to-day drama that consumed me is no longer there. There are moments that it still overwhelms me, but these are fewer and farther between. I have taken my W off the pedestal and looking at her not as my W but as another human being. This is helping immensely as I can see how difficult her life may be if we D. No drive, No job, health issues galore, no "real" friends (I don't count internet friends), chronic issues that would keep her from eating out, dancing, staying up late let alone drinking, hiking, or just social interaction that scares her to death and exhausts her quickly. Should she change her mind and want to focus on our MR to get to a better 2.0, I would happily stand by her side. Knowing she wants nothing to do with me (other than pay the bills) is not acceptable.


M51 W44
T21 M18
D14 S11
BD date 9/17
W filed 02/18
W withdrew petition following week
In house separation 03/18
In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18
W is moving out by mid Nov 2018
A drawing up paperwork 11/18