Well, I'm trying something new. I have to be trying something because not trying makes me feel stuck and unhappy. So with that said I am writing to take inventory of the positive things that I notice.
Yesterday afternoon D19 who returns to school in less than 2 weeks decided to paint some artwork for her room at college. She did it out on the patio and proceeded to use my grill as a table for the oil paintings to dry. Even though the chance was low, I pointed out to D19 that it may rain. She checked her phone and announced that there was zero percent chance of rain. Half hour later and it is coming down in buckets. D19 is in the bath. I point out to W that D19 has used my beloved 20 year old grill to hold the paintings, and hopefully I will be able to get the oil paint off. W shows empathy. Now it's important to note that I said this in a calm matter of fact way. In the past, when things were tense and an unhealthy dynamic existed, I might have embellished on the potential mess. I think this counts as progress in my camp. So, untypical of W, she grabs an umbrella and heads out to mitigate damages. I am surprised as this is out of her nature and like many Ws doesn't like rain. I help. I thank her for doing this.
Hopefully, I have adequately described the event. Both my lack of overreaction and her empathy and reaction though they may seem logical to many, are untypical and I am considering progress.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
