I'm Broken III

[bhappy2]

you have so much more to look forward to

If it were just me, I really do believe this. But it's not just my happiness that I have to look out for and I just don't know what is best.

You are using your children as an excuse, you want what we all want one big happy family where everyone gets along in a loving environment... are you getting that? NO...so work needs to be done. You can work on this alone and you should if H doesnt want to.

your guilt drove you to accept this

True, and a lack of self worth that plagued me from my childhood but I had really gotten past so much of that as I've gotten older. But there was a lot of "trauma bonding" with my H when he and I met. It's really kind of sick and I don't know if it's worth getting into here or at this stage of my healing, but it bonded me to him in a way that only a very damaged young lady would have tolerated. I feel so bad for her and wish I would have known that I deserved better. Such is life.

This right here is very importantant, you really need to speak with a counselor to help sort out these issues from the past.

On a different note, have you ever gone to Cape Charles?

No, I believe it's on the Eastern shore and it's on the way to the YMCA summer camp that my kids go to and my boss mentioned it a year or so ago saying that it's really a quaint little town. I put it on my list of things to do but that list of things to do with H has gotten lost to say the least, lol. Anyway, it sounded like a cool little place, so you should definitely check it out if the opportunity arises. I hear they have darts there too

Looks like I am going in late September, and I will bring my darts.

I ran 20 miles this week, I am going for 25 next week. Lets step it up you have to catch your son.

Good job!! I will not be catching my son in this lifetime! It's been so freaking humid ugh. But yes ok, I'll try to get some miles this week!

Yes he is quite fast... but we can try...lol

On another note, Tuesday I am meeting with the two surgeons who will be performing my surgery in the next month or so and I'm really hoping they can find and eliminate whatever has been causing my abdominal pain. Fingers crossed.

I hope everything goes well, keep us informed.

Just so you are aware I do know the race you ran, I am very familiar with this race and all the races that weekend. I belong to two running clubs. So I did see you and your sons time. This site is about anonymity, but I just wanted you to know. If you want I can let you know who I am as well.