RE: Returning- After some bad stuff- need advice

[mbe76]

So more lies and mistrust- I just don't know what to do anymore.

We agreed to go away with the children on holiday and a week before she asked me to load up the children ipads with movies etc . . and she had left herself logged on to facebook- and I saw a swathe of message between her and the OM- I had not gone looking- and I told her and she said basically it was none of my business- which to some extent is true- but I never went looking- anyway I said that it wouldn't be fair on the kids if we didn't go on holiday so I said we would have the holiday and then go to mediation when we returned- I fully expected a miserable time- but on the contrary we had a great time- the children loved it- and we were getting on well- but then on one night we were both drunk- and she leaned in and kissed me- passionately- and one thing led to another- and she said she didn't want a divorce etc. the rest of the holiday we were close and kissed several times- but then as soon as we got back she went back to being quite cold towards me- I am now thinking all of the affection and closeness was her controlling me again and keeping me hanging- I am still at my mothers and still in limbo- if I go back to 180's and DBing- is it ultimatum time? I am so confused right now, but I don't want any more heartache- as the worrying thing for me is the eldest saw us kiss on a few occasions and now thinks we are getting back together. Any advice?