Husband cheated, trying 180 (3)

[Ready2Change]

If I do and he asks to come see the baby how should I handle it? Any thoughts/suggestions? Thanks!

Like I said earlier, Have him watch D while you go out and do things. It shouldn't be last minute. (You saw my boundary with my ex-wife).

You can initiate.


Best thing you can do is have him parenting during his "FUN TIME" time, while you take car of you.

Like tonight, offer D time from 3-9. You can go to dinner and movie (alone)

[kech]

That’s a good idea, thank you. I do kind of want to stay home tonight with the baby so maybe I will offer that to him tomorrow night. Would that be good?

[kech]

Haven’t heard from him tonight. This is why we’re told to have no expectations, because I certainly thought he would text to come by and see D.

I’ve held back my desire to drive by and see if he’s at the bar, it doesn’t matter either way. If I see his car I’ll be disappointed in him, if I don’t see his car I’ll assume he went to other city to see OW. So either way my mind will run wild. I would rather not know.

We really have never gone more than a day or 2 of not talking. I know we talked this morning but it feels so weird to not hear from him or know he will be coming over tonight. Lots to get used to. Going to keep DBing. Hope to read more of the book tonight

[URE]

Sometimes it makes sense to file quickly and sometimes it makes sense to simply wait patiently throughout the entire process. It often turns on who remains in the marital home and the financial stability of maintaining that home. It is why it is almost always a mistake from a legal perspective to move out. The court will often require a spouse who has moved out to maintain the marital home, even if they have moved out and even if doing so means they cannot afford to maintain their new living situation. It is always good to talk to attorneys about what to do, but they do make money by filing and prosecuting divorces so take their advice with a grain of salt.

Never forget that legal divorce is simply a business transaction. Attach as little emotion to the process as possible.

[kech]

URE,

Thanks for the info. Hard not to bring emotion in it when I’m still very much in love and would like to save my marriage, but I am trying.

Starting another day over here. Hoping it’s better than yesterday

[kech]

Any encouraging words today? Haven’t heard from him in 24 hours. So easy for him, so miserable for me.

[kech]

He texted and asked to come over tonight to see the baby. I responded yes and asked if 6:30 worked. He responded “great”. Can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or genuine, but oh well.

Plan to leave when he comes for a bit to run some errands. Hoping he doesn’t bring up divorce but will try to be prepared if so.

[kech]

Anyone out there today

[SteveLW]

Kech you've got this. You're going to be fine no matter what!!

[kech]

Steve,

Thanks, I hope you’re right because it sure doesn’t feel that way. I hope he softens and sees what he’s losing here. Who knows where he was last night. So upsetting