You are doing quite well w/what you've been given to work with. Trust you gut instinct and if you aren't sure about something, then do nothing. Step back when things are troubling you and allow time to settle the dust just a bit. My mantra has always been "sit quietly and the answers will come".
Your wife is slowly, and I do mean slowly, thawing out a bit. Be patient and do not push too hard at the moment. Show her that you are a safe to talk to. When they poke their heads out of the "fog of confusion", they are like skittish kittens. You have to go slowly and gently to get them to come to you. You've been doing this...keep up the good work.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
