Thanks so much. I am definitely going to try to push forward, stick to this, and do my best. I am of course very curious of what he is doing today, working, not working, etc. but trying to push those thoughts out of my head. He mentioned to me twice last night where he would be sleeping, his friends house. But the way he kept saying it makes me feel like he was lying.
But I never asked, and I know not to. I just thought it was weird he offered up the information. It was like he was reassuring me but I wasn’t asking to be reassured. And I always think he’s lying so it’s unimportant anyways I suppose.
I am going to do a little shopping with the baby, get out of the house for a bit. Really struggling today. He could be anywhere. I hope time with all this space and freedom brings him back somehow. I hope in time he misses me.
That’s really all I want. For him to miss me, stop any divorce proceedings, and say he wants to work at this. Wishful thinking I know. He knows how hard I’ve tried, he said he knows I was trying and fighting for us. I can’t believe we’re here.
Thinking of buying DR. I still need to finish DB. Maybe tonight would be a good night for that once I get the baby to sleep. If I don’t hear from him tonight that’s ok. Preparing myself for that. If I do and he asks to come see the baby how should I handle it? Any thoughts/suggestions?
