Thank you so much for your kind words. You are right, it consumes me AT ALL TIMES. Especially the thoughts of OW, etc. If he jumps into a relationship I will not handle it well. And i do feel as if that is where it will go. He will hide it, but that is what he is going to do, whether it be with someone he is seeing now or someone he meets.
It is funny because he keeps saying to me "I dont care to see anyone else. I dont think I will ever be in a relationship if our marriage doesnt work out." yet HE HAS ALREADY had another relationship with OW. I dont know how he says these things as if he didnt have an affair, it is so strange.
He said to me a few months ago he never wants to find someone else, or that he never will or something. And I said to him "You already have". And he was like You dont get it. No I havent. She isnt s*** to me, blah blah blah. But, point being, he ALREADY has. But he acts as if I want to find someone new right away and he doesnt. He spins things on me so quickly that I dont even know what to say. Its bizarre. And I will say wait, im not looking for someone else..Im focused on me and the baby.
Anyways, I would really love for the 2 of us to be able to begin anew and build a whole new relationship. Maybe this is our chance. I need to be confident for sure. I struggle with that. I have my outfit all picked out for tonight. I am excited to get out with my girlfriends and have a good night. Although I have to be home by midnight now that I was forced to give a time, when I have NEVER once asked him what time he will be home on his nights out. Im never given the chance because he goes out without telling me.
But this will be our new relationship for now. Coparenting. And we will do okay with that as long as we communicate and hopefully he stops threatening the custody stuff and I pray we can figure it out together.
I wouldnt wish this upon anyone wow. It is absolutely awful
