Today has been better than yesterday. However, I keep wanting to reach out to my W. I know its the wrong thing to do. Now that school has started and kids are in school all day, I used to just call and check up on my wife during the day out of habit. I keep thinking she will start coming around soon because of the different activities the kids would do etc. This is very very hard to do. I am trying so so hard to detach. Just when you think you're doing great, the thoughts of how it used to be or what should be start creeping in and it gets depressing. I guess more than anything, Im very disappointed and totally discouraged at the whole sitch. Its tough being 47 with 4 kids and the family broken up over some MLC or whatever its called. I see where some other threads, guys are still talking back and forth with their W on a daily basis. I don't know if its better I don't talk or see my W that often. I will go days with out physically seeing her and usually 2-3 days no contact but by text. The person I loved for so long has absolutely no interest in me and it bothers me soo bad sometimes. I never thought I could be so emotionally destroyed. I have been very very strong for my kids and people around me. The only time I show my weakness is when I am venting on here. So I thank you all for helping me through this. I just want some peace of mind and find some joy in my life again soon. I have family flying in this weekend and I am going to go see them. I really wish I didn't see my W calendar that shows her leaving for 5 days with someone. That's longer vacation than we ever took by ourselves because we have children. It makes me so angry that she would do this to our family. So disappointing. Not sure how I will handle that week.
ME 47 W 38 M17 T20 Separated 5/20/18 D-bomb 7/9/2018 Nothing Filed 4 kids ages 6, 10, 14, 15
