Part of the problem is that you are buying into the same illusion that she is. OM is perfect and they are just having a wonderful time on their little vacation.
One thing I learned from my WAW when she came back was that much of what I believed was not the case> sh would spend many nights crying about me while in the throws of her fog, but my Dumba$$ would comfort her out of it by pursuing...the "he's still there for me" known as cake eating.
It wasn't until she knew she had lost me and the pursuit had stopped that she snapped out of that she realized that everything she was living was smoke and mirrors.
While she still had me as a fall back she couldn't see that clearly! Why? Because the fog/affair was fun and excitement and I was real life, as soon as I was "gone" and she felt it, she realized that the fun and excitement was her real life and it was only then she had her "oh $hit what have I done" moment.
She acts like she is the same person, but she isn't. I know that. I haven't yet told her that I can't trust her anymore, but I don't know if that is something constructive to say right now, or if I should "step off the ledge" and think about it before I proceed.
When she cried, I did not pursue. I just validated. I did not talk much to her at all yesterday and not a peep from her today.
I see a D lawyer for a consultation in 10 days.
2nd DB appointment with the coach next Thursday morning.
Likely will be getting Xanax for this hump. I'm not doing well right now.
