Hi JustSad, I feel like I'm back to the drawing board, I keep getting caught up in it when he shows signs of being more open and less foggy and I get sucked in. He still has a ton of his stuff here so I'm going to tell him later today to get it out. He only took half his things and has plenty of time to get the rest and never does. It hurts to see it all still here so it has to go. I dont know if thats a 180 or DB or whatever but it just has to go.
This is called getting temp checked. He sees you have started to pull back and so he acts in ways to see if he still has control. Once you show him he does, he quickly retreats.
Next time he starts to act warm and less foggy, DON'T CHANGE A THING.
I can remember in my sitch W sitting next to me crying about how she thought D was wrong, and she wish she didn't have a desire to leave and get a D etc. I sat. Listened. Validated. The next few days she was very affectionate and caring. If I had picked that up and ran with it, hugged her, consoled her, continued to apologize for my past behavior she would have felt she still had control and went back into her shell.
Do what works. 180 on what doesn't..
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
