She cried multiple times on the phone, when I mentioned 3 options - divorce, continue as is, stop paying support... she said it was a threat to cut her off, I can;t do that, it makes her think less of me.
She says she knows she will pull away if we start spending time because thats what happens when youre hurt. She says she has a lot of healing to do and its going to take a long time.
Okay Did, I copy and pasted the most important parts of your conversation with her.
The above quote is VERY telling of her motivations right now. And it is all about securing your support past September.
If you cut me off I will think less of you: directly plays on your desire to R, and your ego. It is a magnificent example of manipulation! She's good at this. Don't fall for the "I'm so introverted, unassuming, due to all of the emotional abuse I've endured" crap. This line right here proves to me you are dealing with a master manipulator. Look back honestly and open-mindedly at the original agreement for you S and but you still supporting her. Was that really your idea? Or was it hers?
She says she knows she will pull away if we start spending time because thats what happens when youre hurt. WOW, she is laying it on think here. Do you really see what she is saying here? "I know you've supported me for the last 3 months, and I haven't reciprocated that by spending time with you, but I AM THE VICTIM HERE!" She is manipulating you again. She is trying to take away the argument, that you legitimately would get to, that you've supported her for three months in order to work on the MR, but you haven't spent anytime together to actually work on it. She is good!
And finally, She says she has a lot of healing to do and its going to take a long time. AND THERE IT IS! The crux of the entire matter. MORE TIME. IE SUPPORT ME FOR A LONGER TIME! She is trying to set the expectation with you that "if you'll just commit to supporting me for a long time, then maybe I'll come around". Did, she is setting you up. This is gonad check time my friend. Are you going to stand up for yourself here or are you going to roll over?
She is a manipulator. Was she always? Answer truthfully.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
