I admire your patience too but you do need a jolt. Things have to change, and you can't wait to see what happens with her. I may be the biggest hypocrite in the world too b/c I may be in your shoes in a couple years, who knows.
Going no contact really helped me and my situation the last couple of weeks. Unfortunate that I had to break it yesterday but I'm going back to it tomorrow since I did talk to my WW today.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.