DB / Detach, WAW... piecing

[Did]

Just got home from beach trip with D4. Had a great time for the most part, waterpark, beach, outlets etc. Good time with friends and kids.

Had a 1.5 hour phone convo with W last night. She wanted to talk on the phone to discuss schedule. Said she had a couple glasses of wine... She cried multiple times on the phone, when I mentioned 3 options - divorce, continue as is, stop paying support... she said it was a threat to cut her off, I can;t do that, it makes her think less of me. She has some good points about the schedule, that I have worked a lot and she has been stuck with D4 unable to have a consistent schedule ever... but I have offered to get a babysitter. I am going to get a sitter moving forward and stick to a schedule.

Ended up saying she wants to talk on the phone once or twice more before doing something together. I may be open to it... not sure. But I will probably hear her out / let it play out. I know I would want her to get into IC and she would need to do her own 180s if things were going to work. We barely know each other now so maybe she's different than I perceive her.

But, there are a lot of negatives... pretty unsure about it. She says she knows she will pull away if we start spending time because thats what happens when youre hurt. She says she has a lot of healing to do and its going to take a long time. I know she has read a lot about it and she considers herself emotionally abused. She is extremely sensitive, she is fragile, she has anxiety. She has always been introverted, doesnt like people, doesnt like my family, doesnt like her own family... Not sure I see the positives as much anymore, except looks, physical attraction and our daughter. Not sure if its meant to be... Feel like my gut is telling me no but maybe it will change if things move in a positive direction. Not sure I want to pay support / wait around. We can date after divorce if we want to, right? People do that...

Pretty sure I am going to get back into IC. May look for a new therapist.