I’m certainly no expert but I’m almost 4 months in and have seen what does and doesn’t work. I blew up at the first sign of EA and it literally threw my WW on a 4 week bender with the other guy. I have since learned to mention him as little as possible if not at all. All it does is reinforce controlling behavior and push her away.

Although I have to admit 10 years ago when this happened, yes I am a two time LBS, I left right away and it shook my wife and it was a 2 week R. Only to be back here again. But I still have hope, keep working on yourself and don’t push too hard.

My wife has been initiating sex as well even though she has not wanted to talk about R and I can only do my best work and hope that she remembers why she married me 17 years Ago.

H-50
W-48
T-19
M -18
S23, S14
BD - 5/9/2018
OM discovered 5/10/2018

In house sep - 8/18/2018
Rope drop 2/15/2019
R'ing since 3/15/2019