Hi all looking for some support and advice here. I will keep this short as possible because it's a familiar story here.

Married 10 years 2 kids aged 8 and 10. After 3 years of being a workaholic, being selfish about it, arguing with my wife and not paying attention to her needs about 7 weeks ago she said she was done and wanted a divorce. I felt like I was punched in the gut. I immediately did the we can fix it routine, you really don't want that, lets solve this etc, it fell on deaf ears. She cut me off completely, no affection, no sex, she insisted this was the end. It was all business. She has the separation papers and divorce papers in her desk. She never kicked me out she said she was scared if she did I wouldn't come see the kids, so I am still going home when I can. She never filed any papers she said because our financial situation isn't great right now and then I would have to leave and it would be hard for me to see the kids cause I would have nowhere to live except for the back of my store. I went through some pain, a lot of grief, a lot of guilt and self hatred. Then I got online and did a lot of reading, downloaded audio books, and came to the realization that she was right about everything, but I want to save my marriage, because I am truly in love with her and want to spend my life with her. I realized I had to first of all accept what was happening, realize that if it did happen it would not be the end of the world, and get stronger. I realized I had to change and if I didn't change that there was no chance of saving my marriage. So I set about changing, I lost 18 lbs (another 20 to go). When I was around her I started to listen, I keyed in on what really made her angry. I started coming home when I said I would come home, I started to spend more time with my kids and quality time, and that's been awesome, my kids adore me. I backed off, I didn't attempt to touch her, I spoke softly, I communicated what needed to be communicated, and kept it as simple as possible. We went for dinner she agreed, I went for a haircut, bought some new jeans cause my 36 pants were falling off me now. I told her I agreed with her, she was right, and I accept her decision. I apologized for all the times I hurt her and told her I can't go back and fix it, but we need a new relationship, and if that was only a friendship I was fine with it. She noted that I was looking good, and she said the change in me was almost "scary" and told me she couldn't believe I can continue. I booked for some counseling on my own, she told me she didn't believe I would follow through. Fair enough, talk is cheap, action is what counts.

On side note shortly after she said she wanted a divorce I looked at her texts, there is a man she works with and there has been some very flirty behavior between them. I mentioned it once, I told her I was aware, I didn't want to talk about how I knew, and I told her I didn't want to speak about it further, I just had to get it off my chest. This is still going on, but I have noted it less flirty on her side, I don't put a lot of stock in the guy as he is going through a separation right now and I believe he's been pursuing my wife for some time prior, so I can't have much respect or stock in a man that would pursue a married woman. I do understand that she perhaps feels some attention and maybe she needs it due to my lack off.

Ok fast forward to last weekend. I was on my way home from my store, she had gone to happy hour with some coworkers and she texted me when she was leaving, maybe that guy was there maybe not, I didn't ask who she was with, it doesn't matter and I am not a jealous man, although my wife is gorgeous I don't believe she has ever had an affair. She told me she was stopping to get a bottle of wine and asked me if we could stay in and have some wine, she asked me to get some snacks and we would sit out on the deck. So we did the neighbor came over for a bit then he left, and it was us, we had drank a fair bit but I was not intoxicated, she was probably a bit more than me. All night as she was talking she kept grabbing my arm as if to emphasize something, countless times. After the neighbor left we started to talk, and she broke down, she cried, she told me she hated men, she told me how some guy at the pub told her she was hot, she complained about some other guy was treating her (I am assuming it's the guy from work I didn't ask) then she really unloaded on me with a ton of anger, got abusive, I tried to touch her back she told me not to effin touch her, when she got more abusive I got up and told her I was going to bed because I didn't need to be abused. She said "there you go same as always run away when things get hard". So I sat back down and let he unload on me for another 15 minutes. She calmed down, then she started playing more music, then she grabbed my hand and held it. I held her hand sitting there quietly, then I kissed her hand. Soon we were dancing on the deck and kissing each other and well you know where that goes. So after 7 weeks we had awesome passionate sex. Then in the morning we did again. So I was feeling screwed up the next day so was she she had to work the afternoon and she texted me and said we needed to talk. So when she was home she talked about how we can do that stuff etc, then we spent a good 2 hours talking about our relationship, she stated again that she was skeptical that I could maintain the change. Fair enough. The next day we spent the day together with the kids and had a good day, there was some light affection both ways. We got home went to separate beds and slept. The day after we made a fire in the firepit and sat up late talking, listening to music, and having a few beers. She was lightly affectionate as was I. Well bedtime guess what, here we go again, and then again in the morning, I called a staff member and told them they need to open the store and I would be late. So that was a couple days ago. So today she is a bit cold not sure what to make of it. I am committed to saving my marriage, what do I do next, I honestly didn't expect to e having sex with her and I am not interested in friend with benefits, what is my next move? Should I try be more affectionate? Should I slack off again?