Still here. Still not detached... (Part 3)

[MoveFrwd]

Chris - long time, no see.
A couple questions for you.

On the flip side, I've dipped my toes in the dating pool a few times and felt very uncomfortable. I've met women with kids in similar situations as mine and there's a temptation there to move quickly into a new relationship. But I think it's primarily for the convenience of having someone to lighten the parenting load and provide comfort during the lonely times. And that's not a good enough reason for me to introduce a new person into my kids' lives. If I start a new relationship with someone I want it to be because I really like them, not because they can make my life easier. So I think the dating thing will remain on hold for a while.

In my opinion, there is no rush to introduce a new person into your kid's lives. So I wouldnt worry about meeting people for "convenience". I think you will have plenty of time to get to know someone and really identify that they are a good match before you bring your kids in. Im just curious what exactly you are waiting for in order to consider dating further? What trigger will help you to identify that "it's time"?

I still love her very much. And it's extremely hard to admit that to myself when I consider all of the crappy things that she's done to sabotage our relationship and disrespect me. But when all my defenses are down, that's the raw truth. I'm not over it.

[snip]I don't like the woman that she's become. [snip]

Im also curious what exactly you love about her. At this point, is it simply the memory you love? The good times in the past? Or is it still the person that she is now?

This feeling of limbo is difficult to live with.

At this time, what is your reason to not file for divorce? Not saying that you should or shouldnt. But Im curious what it is that you want to hang on to right now. To me, you are keeping yourself in this limbo state. Maybe it's a divorce decree that will help "set you free"?