Thanks DnJ. I'm definitely not worried about what he is doing. It doesn't change me or my plans. I am just dropping notes for myself and others. I think on this site everyone swoops in from day one to tell you to GAL and move on that you start to feel weird posting stuff about the movement for all the backlash you'll face by not looking at yourself enough, but as I said, I find it fascinating. I don't know where my story ends or where his does, but if someone is going through something similar, or reading this five years from now and knows how it ends, I hope they can get something from looking back on it. I have gotten the most on this site from the older threads and being able to read someone's arc in a condensed period of time.
I don't check the texts as much as I used to, but there was a time where he definitely pulled away and became much more superficial. I think what I am seeing now is some desperation. I haven't responded to the anchor checks and the kids never do, so I think he is feeling that we are all moving away. Hence the now frequent phone calls and the drive-bys. It may have to do with one of the kids returning to school and the recognition that a long time has gone by with no contact. Something pertaining to him at any rate.
As I said, the FOO examination videos are back after about an 8-9 month absence. The last two alone, sent on the same day, would have suggested that he knows he is running from something (the first even said you don't extend your life by adding days through diet and exercise or partying or making new friends or traveling the world) and will never find happiness that way (and in fact implied that what he is looking for can only be found by a deeper examination of his real life and his family) and the second suggested that the cause is what happened to him as a child and is now triggering him to behave the way he is. I constantly scratch my head and think surely he is watching these before sending them. They have no applicability to the children, so why does he send them? My last counselor said they were all about him and where he was.
The texts are more desperate too. More and deeper expressions of love and longing. More concern about not knowing what is going on in their lives and the passage of time. Nothing about him or what he is doing or how is spending his time. No direct contact with me.
