My heart still breaks for you. There is still so much expectation of him. Still so much disappointment when he does not behave as you want and/or expect him to. Maybe he texted about the exams to have something to talk to you about on your Bday that was safer than sharing any feelings. Maybe he is trying to reconnect with her. Who knows? But why does this upset you so much? He did text you a happy birthday. I now think your situation has not gone anywhere in 2 years not because of him, but because you have not been able to move forward.
I think the time to push a response is when you are ready to face the consequences of it not going the way you want it to. When you are doing it because it is something you need to say or a movement you need to occur. It has to be because it what is best for you at that time, not because you are hoping from some response from him, only to be snarky when it isn't.
Until you reach that point. That point of doing things for you because you need to do them, then continue doing nothing.
Maybe it would be good to go back to counseling and find out why detachment and letting go are so hard for you. I'm guessing there is fear underneath that is prompting this. But in every interaction with him you are very clearly still letting him see how detached you are, how needy you are, and that you are not letting go. Every one seems to end with your expectations causing you to snap at him. How are you showing him growth? How are you showing him a capacity for forgiveness?
Make sure you read DnJ's thread. He gets detachment in a way that I think can benefit all of us.
I am a huge cheerleader for you. I have so much hope for you as a person. You are someone I truly wish I could know. But for your own good, you have to let go. Set him free. Set you free. The future is unknown and unknowable, but the present is something you can control.
