Can I really do this #5

[Dtrmned]

AS,
I appreciate your insight. Especially the last paragraph. I typed a long response yesterday, but paused, deleted and wanted to think on it overnight. Yesterday was a good day in my home. I worked out of the house, actually had a few pleasant light-hearted conversations at home with my wife while in between stuff. Everything was good until a VERY small issue came up in the evening that required a financial decision. Nothing blew up, but you could feel the mood change in the room immediately. Back to reality, I guess. I actually feel I did fairly well. I didn't jump in and be superman and solve the issue, I let her wrestle with it for awhile, validated, etc. I just hate that it happened on that day! I wish we could have just one "good" day. I feel your first sentence stating that she will never change and this could go on indefinitely is very accurate. I also believe i am close to the point of your next sentences coming true. Contemplating retaining an attorney to get everything drawn up. I think this would help me in a couple of ways. I hate the limbo stage. I feel trapped not doing anything and maybe by doing this it would distract me. It would also mean that if things were to move towards a D, that I am already a little ahead of the game. i dislike spending the money on this, but it seems like a small investment in my own personal peace to move things forward. I also believe that this will help me detach as in my mind this may be more real looking at drafts, etc of the settlement. Finally, i think the longer this drags on, the more resentment builds (mentioned previously) and the chances of things blowing up to a litigated divorce increase drastically. I don't see any problem in doing this as she has no idea and i think it will help me at least feel like I am doing something and taking back control of my life.

I still want my family together, and do not feel this is an ultimatum (yet) to get her to be in the 1% that might snap her out of it. That would not happen. Our sitch is fairly new to DB'ing (6 months), but the issues have been going on for a long time.

Looking for thoughts and feedback on this. I will promise this board I will not do anything on this for the next 48 hours so I know I am not doing anything rash, and i also have the time to get feedback from those whose opinions on here I value so much.

Thank you all again, from one who is struggling along side of everyone in the board regardless of where you are in your life.