Jim, thanks for taking the time to respond to that long message. I need to work on being brief.
I'm tired of being in limbo but I also don't feel it's easy to move on so it's hard to say what's happening! It's good to know it should become clearer over time.
I agree that going on a first date should and could just be dinner and conversation without feeling so much pressure to fend a guy off. If I ever do go on a date, which I have no idea if I will, I'll try to not be so limited. The only concern is if you start dating someone and it gets serious the guy thinks it's time to start spending nights together and I say no at that time, then he'll probably be upset that he wasted his time. I just feel it's so much easier to skip this whole ordeal. I probably won't meet a guy at the mosque though. Almost every mosque has separate male and female entrances and they're totally segregated. Maybe in the parking lot?! I'm not so sure about church either because the one I was attending was 100% elderly people but maybe I'll find a new one where we live now.
I'm guess if I ever meet someone it'll be through work. That's how I met my husband and where I have unlimited interaction with a wide range of people.
The guy from the UK is still in the picture via work. Today his colleague (who is also his friend) came to our city and I met him with my boss. For whatever reason that one week when we all wrote that paper together made a big impact on us all. The guy I met today was also involved. My boss seemed surprised by how well we know each other after that one week. Then I walked out with this guy and we talked for a long, long time on the street. I'd have to say it was pretty clear he was interested although he has a girlfriend and there's also an age difference but sometimes when you're with someone in person you just know. All these years I felt invisible to men being married and then having a child but it seems there's some change that happens when you no longer wear a wedding ring and your child isn't with you - people just see you as a single woman.
Anyway, my husband has been asking for my help with a few minor things lately and I've done it for him because I really want to keep things good between us since he's somehow still coming up with the money that we need and I still want our daughter to see us talking and interacting well. Since everything is happening informally right now without a separation agreement or divorce papers I feel it's better to stay on good terms and do small favors for one another but who knows what will happen.
I still dream of my husband waking up one day and realizing how bad he messed up and working hard to fix everything but I know there's not much else I can do to facilitate that happening. It's now been a year since he left for the second time.
