R2C - Yes, she's legally allowed in the house. I was thinking of taking the kids to stay somewhere locally for a couple of nights not far from home but I won't be able to relax if W knows I won't be at home as she will go through all my stuff.
Ginger1 - Yep, I wanted to use the world "calm" because it is, and that's what she says she wants. Before W left it wasn't calm due to her.
Amoafwl - "share what you would want shared with you" I don't think it would make any difference because of her state of mind, and I can't trust her.
