Newbie: W wants Separation in coming weeks

[ovrrnbw]

Hi Klau,

I just got caught up reading everything here and had a few thoughts.

Getting a MC in L.A.? Or any part of CA? I'd be so scared of that in itself! I was in San Diego 14 years ago for some job training, that was the first time I saw gas pricing starting with a "2".

Seems like you're getting the point on listening, validating, and avoiding R talk. Good.

Get back in your bed, be the man. That doesn't mean you're smarter and better than anyone, but the man has a role to play and even feminists are statistically more attracted to manly men. Numbers don't lie. If you're afraid of her saying you abused her somehow, record your interactions.

Don't fear her leaving. If she says you need to leave or else she will, then let her leave. She may be bluffing, and maybe not. Either way do not abandon the home. If she runs off with the kids maybe you have a super secret GPS on her car or something, I dunno. Is this a real concern?

You have to kick your communication out of "Auto-Pilot". Those cycles where you have the same fight over and over again got you here, so 180 on that.

When she talks R, you validate, you listen. If you need clarification or better understanding, ask questions. Women love to feel like you care about what they are saying. Also, realize that people, her included, can feel more than one way about things. If she seems to be flip flopping, don't bust her chops over that. I say that because it's something I have done.

And why shouldn't she be fearful the you/we won't change? It's been this way for a while right? So you have to show her it can change, not convince it can.

Good luck and I want my Rams back...