insight I gained was just how hurt she really is with how we have been communicating. We've been in a bad cycle for the last year where one of us says something which leads to bickering, she escalates it, then I get defensive...it just goes in circles. She has really felt that I'm attacking her and disrespecting her. I guess it's true that I've been harsh.
I get defensive, because I always feel like I'm under attack. I know that makes me quick with the trigger and she feels attacked.
She does seem to be working herself up to work on the R, but she is very emotional and her natural reaction is to run away. She doesn't trust that I (we) can change.
