It is impatience but it has been 3+ months DB has really just started but I’m just not sure I would accept her back at this point after 2nd affair in 10 years. Not to mention it is affecting my kids and they even think I have no other option. I’ll just talk and check out all options.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Well she wants to talk tonight so I think she is ready to move forward. I think OM gave her a ring last weekend and she has been cold as ice all week. I think I’m actually relieved because she will want to move forward quickly without litigation.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
1) Read the validation thread to be ready for the discussion. 2) Talk to a lawyer. Doesn't mean you have to hire one, but know your options. 3) Good luck, and I'll pray for you.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I'm good and will reread the validation section. Have had an attorney since the onset and honestly will be relieved if she wants to initiate. He has advised me on what to do outside of validation.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Is this out of impatience? When was BD for you? It was 3 months ago? You realize that that is a drop in the bucket. Expecting your W to turn around on this that quickly is grossly unrealistic. Now I am not suggesting that you don't talk to an attorney. You should. But I would consider taking more time to decide on if you want to pull the trigger.
If you want to file because YOU want to get D'd, then go for it. If you want to file because you want to stop the PAIN, then I would hesitate. Because that won't have the desired effect.
Yes, totally agree with Steve. What's the rush, are you hoping it will bring an end to the hurt and misery? It won't. Only time and detachment will do that. Work on that detachment.
Also I noticed TXHubby posted to your thread, listen to him as well, and read his threads. His is a classic case of how placating a WAS can leave you stuck in horrible limbo indefinitely. When he finally detached and let go, everything changed. His WAS broke into full-blown panic pursuit. He was so detached he didn't even want her back at that point. I know you think you are there, but you're not just yet.
Is this out of impatience? When was BD for you? It was 3 months ago? You realize that that is a drop in the bucket. Expecting your W to turn around on this that quickly is grossly unrealistic. Now I am not suggesting that you don't talk to an attorney. You should. But I would consider taking more time to decide on if you want to pull the trigger.
If you want to file because YOU want to get D'd, then go for it. If you want to file because you want to stop the PAIN, then I would hesitate. Because that won't have the desired effect.
Yes, totally agree with Steve. What's the rush, are you hoping it will bring an end to the hurt and misery? It won't. Only time and detachment will do that. Work on that detachment.
Also I noticed TXHubby posted to your thread, listen to him as well, and read his threads. His is a classic case of how placating a WAS can leave you stuck in horrible limbo indefinitely. When he finally detached and let go, everything changed. His WAS broke into full-blown panic pursuit. He was so detached he didn't even want her back at that point. I know you think you are there, but you're not just yet.
I third this.
And I thought it was awesome that TXHubby posted to. I was all like hell yea can I get a comment on mine??!!!
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Well she’s home and hasn’t asked me to come up and talk however she did ask me for number of therapist that I found for her a month ago that she never contacted hmmmmm
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
