Both sides have fog. You're only one month in, better buckle down! Lots of work to do either way this thing goes.
Yes indeed. The LBS remembers nothing but good things about the M and puts the WAS on a golden pedestal, and the WAS remembers nothing but bad things about the M, all of which are blamed on the LBS. With time both sides come out of the fog. The LBS remembers the M wasn't always a bed of roses and the WAS remembers it wasn't always terrible. In other words they both come back to reality.
The WAS usually also comes to the realization that there is no White Knight waiting to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to a glorious castle in the clouds to live out her years in peace and prosperity. It's all just fantasy. Here's the problem with reconciling- the WAS loves and wants that fantasy so bad and reconciling means giving up the fantasy. It's going back to the same old life and same old spouse. That's why DB'ing is all about remaking yourself into "the spouse only a fool would leave", because she doesn't want to go back to the old you and old M. She wants something new and different, and after a while she may come to realize that YOU are the "new and different" she's looking for.
