I'll just second what Steve said. I think the conversations here are helpful for you and for others even if you have given up hope in R. I'm in a similar scenario as I also don't see much point in "standing" for my MR. However, I do see a lot of point in continuing to better myself and solidify the shifts that I have made thus far.
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
