Yes I think it's a good sign. She's trying to convince herself to stick to her decision to leave. I swear that with my own W.
She says she is done. You 180 and make changes. She starts wondering if leaving is the right thing to do. She rebels against that by insisting her mind is made up. You keep detaching, 180ing, and GAL. She keeps trying to convince you and her of her original decision. But she is questioning, I guarantee it.
Heck, I can't order lunch without wondering if I made the right choice. You're telling me she can decide to end her marriage and be sure of that choice?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
W and I Have getting along very well, no R or MR talk continuing 180s and GAL /w K, helping take care of her mama, she's been very sick, Monday W s6 and d3 and I are going for a fishing trip we are all looking forward to.... W seems more happy since stopped pursuing etc. She was going out of the room to change her clothes etc, and now she is getting undressed in front t of me again. I haven't said ILY in a few days just good nights etc. Noticing changes in some ways she has begun to respect me more lately.....less sarcastic remarks and has gotten more playful with me a few times.... Hoping all are good signs... But appears so.... Onward bound! Any feed back appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Some interesting things happening today, W has been more expressive over last week, especially the last day or two. She took s6, d3 and I out to lunch today and we all had a great time. Since I stopped pursuing and 180 ing she has become to express acts of affection towards me again.... Some minimal as they maybe... For example spending 15 minutes trying to get a deep buried splinter out of my hand, clipping the toe nails on my foot which has a broken ankle, and generally acting more concerned towards my well being. Just post BD 3 weeks ago she could barely look at me. A few days ago she commented she noticed my changes I am making with regards to some of the things I have done to push her away for so long. Her mother who we are caring for who is quite I'll has been under mainly my care lately as my ankle has me outbid hard duty work, and she has thanked me multiple times recently for The help I have been providing for her. She has begun to call me baby and hunny instead of by my name over the last few days as well. Just post BD she didn't really want to be around me in the same room etc, but the last 4 or 5 nights when she has come home from work she has wanted to spend the remaining time she had before bed watching TV or talking with me. No R or MR talks whatsoever lately just small talk and also future related planning talk as well. Yesterday when I told her ILY (slipped out) she responded with an ILYT. Not sure what any of it means, trying not to over think the situation but will remain focused at continuingto 180 on my bad habits and actions and validate her feelings when expressed. Prepared for R talk if it comes up in near future but hoping it just kinda falls into place on its own... Anyways any feedback or opinions are appreciated as I can always use insights. Thanks in advance. Take care.
trying not to over think the situation but will remain focused at continuingto 180 on my bad habits and actions and validate her feelings when expressed. Prepared for R talk if it comes up in near future but hoping it just kinda falls into place on its own...
Good. Continue doing what works. Maybe don't smother her yet with the ILY's, but if it works then do it.
Don't get sucked in too fast on the R talk, listen and validate first. You need to be super sure before you open up and say your piece.
Great news.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Seekn, As I've said recently, your sitch is showing signs of turning around. As Ovr said, do not stop DBing. That is the temptation when things start turning positive. Remember, this all will be up and down. Also resist the temptation to judge on an act by act, day by day basis. I like to say these things should be tracked like the stocket market. Ignore day-to-day fluctuations, overall trend over time is what you are going for.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
