steve...yep, I have no definite WHY and probably never will. and i fully accept I have no control over other people even as painfully obvious as that is showing me in my sitch. wrongly I believed that people who marry commit to staying that way for life. clearly she felt otherwise. it does not make her wrong, it simply destroys a foundational belief I had in married relationships. I have no idea how I ever trust again with that tenet clearly destroyed from personal experience.
to be clear I've not once apologized to her. my posting here was just true pain and frustration coming out into a virtual pillow. I know better than to beg/apologize/pursue and so I instead come here.
I get and agree with all that you say Steve. thing is beyond my moving on and living my life well, none of this matters in regards to her feelings towards me. the marriage is done, my hope for a future for us is pointless and I just need to shut those feelings down. all of my posting, feelings, words on my sitch..real truth is there was never a chance she'd come back.
might just be the best for me to stop posting and give it up. someday down the road maybe I'll find happiness again. the world is a cruel place...maybe I've just been so blessed as to not have to face that reality until now. I can't thank you enough for all of the support you've given me these months I've been around.
