Wife wont admit to affair, its driving me nuts! 2

[Morbo]

So, thursday night 8/23 was interesting.

I'm for the first time really grieving the marriage, I was in complete denial.
Even though she was obviously having an affair I kinda shut down to the possibility of it, didnt enforce tough love
and was a total p**sy. The conversations with OM's ex GF have been illuminating to say the least.

Speaking of which, I called OM's ex GF on thur night just to get a couple of things clear regarding timelines, when
W went away etc with OM.
We had a very long conversation which reinforced everything even more. OM started distancing himself
from GF around same time of my W. Acted like a dick, all the phone calls, inappropriate behaviour etc
A couple of new things I gleaned from all this was that OM kept asking ex GF early 2017 when she was moving out of THEIR house. He kept mentioning , you can stay til june....
Ex GF ,moved out mar 2017 because she couldnt take his bulls**t, narcissicism and his gaslighting. June 2017 was interesting as that was the time W moved out(at end of lease). So, they had planned for a long time when she would move out. As far as I can see his place is where they hang out mostly, specifically from sun to wed when I have my daughters.

Also, not sure if I should mention but I asked GF some personal questions(with her permission).
W and I had sex a few times last year from jan to sept(last time)., perhaps 10 times.
We always used protection(condoms) in the past and were very strict about it.
BUT, the ten times we had sex last year, we didnt use condoms at all, unprotected.
I was happy as I thought my W was getting closer to me and I'm such a dummy
I didnt even think of the possibility she may be using some form of contraception for OM.
I asked GF and she said that they never used protection.
OM is a typical old school latino who doesnt believe in that s**t.

Ugggh, yuk. It makes me nauseous.

So then 10 mins after that conversation, W calls me up and starts ranting on about this girl
who is posting comments on my FB wall, liking stuff etc. W is making all kinds
of snarky comments on FB and Instagram at her..
She keeps saying to ME, "Use some discretion"..lol
I have NOTHING to hide, other girl is a new friend of mine and we have done nothing inappropriate, at all.
I absolutely lost it with W. It wasnt pretty. How dare she?? And she STILL wont admit to anything.

I tell her I know exactly whats going on. Dont give her specifics on her A and lies but I KNOW.
She keeps blowing phone up with texts and crap for another 2 hours and the next morning. Says she's sending
the divorce papers in september(fine by me!).
I just save all the messages, delete and then go to the gym.

By lunchtime friday she's calmed down. I answer an email about financial stuff but thats it.
Then that night she sends nice texts which I dont respond to as I'm working.
An hour later, more s**ty texts which I save and delete.

The next day I send an email saying that if she ever sends texts like that again, I will delete and never respond.
Also said I'll defriend on FB and block on Instagram if she ever writes negative crap on my wall again.
I'm a public musician and I get a lot of people/promoters/venues liking my posts. Its my livelihood.

Since then, NC except that she's liking everything I'm doing, being really nice, apologetic and then
sent an email to me with how sad and pathetic she is. Even today she sent apologetic texts but I just dont respond.

I have truly let go, thrown out all our wedding stuff now, untagged us from everything on FB and moving on, for real this time without thinking about her(which I was doing).
I can forgive her but I cant forget and at the moment I'm 99% certain we could never get back together
even if she was totally remorseful. I'll never trust her again and she really tried to destroy me.

I'm feeling great, and find myself' laughing a lot more these days.
I'm much more confident and the GYM and GALing in general has really helped.

OK, sorry for the long post, phewww. Gym time now!!