Thanks for the response. I'll touch up on a few things you mentioned but first I want to talk about the last 18 hours.
Last night, after she left the house to go somewhere, I gave my full attention to D4. We walked to the grocery store, bought stuff for dinner and came back. W told me that she made dinner already for D4 and I so I had some extra food. Last text of the night was a picture of funny tweet. I responded to the tweet and I get a "Lol". End of conversation.
Today, I woke up early and got some chores in the house done. Got D4 ready and drove into the city. W called. I ignored it. Cleaned my car and detailed it. Not long after that, D4 and I get donuts. I receive another call form W. No response from me. She texted me about plans to drop off D4 and to confirm (think it was BS) and said she won't be able to talk because of a loss of signal inside the nail salon. Texted me a minute later saying "Nevermind". She tried to call a minute later after text. I didn't respond. I finally responded after 10 minutes informing her that I'm on the way to meet her with D4 to do some Costco shopping and that I was leaving. Next text I said "30 min." She requested for clarification (whether I was leaving in 30 or I'll be there in 30?) but I was driving and did not text back. She called 5 minutes later. I did not respond. Once to Costco, she called (5th attempt) and I responded cheerfully that I'm pulling in.
I see her and D4 runs to her. We go in together and we start talking. About her friend who is living with her Divorced spouse. <MAJOR TEMP CHECK TIME....I think>:
She then told a story of the spouse who is manipulating his ex into giving her more money to fix his boat. The guy is a controlling jerkhole to say the least. I asked W why they are still doing this and W said (here is the temp check?):
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Because they committed to financially supporting each other just like W and I are now.
From those words I got the heavy implication that we have a partnership like her friend does. Ok. I weighed in by saying it sounds pretty abusive and she should cut her losses. She said that the friend and the ex made a commitment to "supporting" each other (again). I told her that it sounds like he (the ex) is a very passive-aggressive person and that I would not live like that.
Here is where I am going with this. Since our S, I have made it clear numerous times (last time was in June), that I refused to have a partnership like her friend. That I deserved a second chance at love, and whatnot. So to have W bring this up...I initially wanted to say that this "partnership" we have is not what I want in my marriage and I don't want this, etc. BUT, I remember what this group said:
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Believe none of what they say and 50% of what they do.
So...I kept my cool and happy demeanor. Made her laugh quite a bit and we moved on from the conversation without much issue. As we were in the checkout line, I noticed a tiny thumb ring. I asked her that's a nice ring and I asked where did she get it. She responded that she bought it at Target. Minutes later I give my D4 to W, and close W's door when she got in (still a gentleman and still habit). They are now out picking blackberries, going school clothes shopping and are going to have a slumber party with OM's friend's kids.
After we parted, I burst into tears. I don't know if she feels like W and I can have this financial commitment to each other like her friend does. She KNOWS that I don't want this kind of relationship right? I felt strongly like she was temp checking me and I did not fall for it this go around...but even for her to imply that's the relationship we have right now was...rude I think.
So here I am, filling you all in and working on honing my DB strat. I am still consciously trying to Detach, but she is on my mind constantly. I want her back. And I know I can't do that right now. And I don't know if that's going to happen. I want to reach out to W's friend (friend is letting me spend nights at her place the days I'm out of the house) and ask for clarification on her relationship with her ex. But I now that W is a lot closer to her friend than I will and that confiding in the friend will likely result her in telling my W about what I said...so I'm fighting not to ask. So far, I seem to be winning the fight right now.
