Gordie 21 going with my gut

[Gordie]

Enjoying these last days of summer

Taking kids to college

Getting other kids ready for school

Lots of time together with w and kids

And the awkwardness is gone

I was reading blue wave

And realizing that reconciliation is messy

And not what I pictured so

I feel like I have turned my own corner

That maybe I really have saved my m

I have been reluctant to say that to myself

Due to the fear that this could all fall apart again

But something in my gut says that it is time to put away that fear

We never had the talk I was waiting for

But realizing maybe that is because of me not her

She has said things like

I could never give myself fully to OM because I realized I still loved you

And it is I who could not continue that conversation

I think she is loving me in the best way she knows how right now

And I think she is willing to sleep together again

Based on what she has said and how she looks at me and touches me

But it is I who I had not been ready for that yet

She has let her guard down more than me

So it is now I who have more decisions to make

About how this unfolds and at what pace

I still feel the need to take this slowly

One day at a time