Re: Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 3

[Davide]

Steve,

I hear what you are saying. I think you may be a little harsh in saying "addicted to the feeling of being wanted and needed" but I get where you are coming from. I think a desire for intimacy and connection isn't necessarily unhealthy. However, I also have always seen dating in a different light. I dated for 13 years before meeting my W. I was definitely looking for a serious relationship at least halfway through that time but I also enjoyed the process of going out and meeting new and interesting people and hearing their stories without much in the way of expectations. Perhaps it is completely different as a 40 year old, but I think a lot of it is how you frame it in your head.

Whether or not I am ready for it is a great question and one that I struggle with. Perhaps that struggle is an indication that I am not. We'll see. I think everything will come into focus with a little more time.

I went to the gym last night and saw the W there. At first I wasn't sure it was her as she was a distance away and I have only seen her once in the last 3 months, but it was definitely her. It probably wasn't DBing but I just completely ignored her for the hour and a half I was there, and she didn't approach me either. At the time, I didn't know if I could be civil to her, I felt like I might tell her to "F#$k off" or otherwise express the resentment that I talked about in my previous message. I felt like that might not be the most productive strategy. It's strange how I have gone from wanting to see her at any chance, to not really wanting to see her, to actively ignoring her. Thankfully the space is large enough that we didn't have to cross paths.