So glad you returned and posted an update. Please, don't be a stranger. There are many newbies who could use your advice and wisdom while traveling their respective paths.
Thank you Job .....I will try to bounce in a bit more often ...
Originally Posted by Westo
Great to hear from you CaliGuy and good to know you are doing so well.
I’ve often thought that it must be harder for men who’s W are in MLC. It’s just something I’ve always believed and the reason I’ve never been able to offer advice to any men on this board.
Anyway, as Job says ‘don’t be a stranger’.
I am not so sure its harder (having never been a woman!! ..lol) , but I do feel its definitely different. Reading the various MLC-threads/sites and all if one were to believe the "timeline" its longer got a MLCW than a MLCH for whatever reason you would like to believe. I know for me personally I really had to rebuild myself and become more of a man in some regards. I think as a long term relationship gets abruptly derailed and there is an OM all the sudden it eats away at our core. It was more than just the mirror work for me, it was re-learning those traits and qualities that made me... dare I say attractive to the opposite sex. Ladies are more drawn to confidence in a man and when you have had your SO of 20+ years cheat openly and unashamed it will rock any dude, this has to be rebuilt from the floor up IMHO as you just can not fake it till you make it in the confidence arena. The site here and others helped me wrap my head around the MLC crisis and let me know I was not alone, however the healing part of all this came slowly and in little steps along with the rebuilding process.
