It seems like its been years since I have posted, I will come in and read up from time to time but seldom post as in a way it just seems rude to bust in someones thread who has no idea who I am and offer advice that's generally already been given though I might re-word it somehow.
Was reading my last posts/threads ... seems like reading someone else's life to be honest. So for those new keeping score ... I am about 5 years past the good ole BD, 3 I think failed mediation attempts and finally divorced the beginning of this year. I have done a good deal of reading, healing, work work and more work between the ears to get to where I am at this moment. I firmly believe the MLC process is much more about the LBS than the MLCr just for the simple fact they will never remotely think they have a problem until the exhaust all those rabbit holes, we are forced into the mirror work well ahead of their time line. I also believe there is a gender issue on how us guys heal vs you ladies ... certain things I think hit us harder and take more time to truly work through.
That being said .. update wise. The MLCr is still on and off again with OM as far as I know. She has yet to re-introduce to S11 (He is not a fan of the fella for previous reasons) She rarely makes eye contact when I collect S11 every other Saturday but the past few months she does not hesitate to call for things concerning S11.
As far as me, I did date for a hiccup and got past that "This is weird" phase ... but have yet to meet anyone who really checks off all the boxes .. along with the fact I am just far to busy really to have much more than a friendship type relationship with anyone ... I am sure at some point this will change but for now I am content and enjoying the time I have with my son, we go fishing, went on vacation to Colorado and had a snowball fight in the mountains in July .. just making memories and enjoying the time.
The reason I decided to post, was just to let you all know who m are still up to your necks in the crisis is regardless of what your MLCr has done, is doing or will do .. if you work on yourself and let them to their own journey you will be just fine. I really never knew how toxic and bad things were for me till I was able to climb out of that pit and look at it from a different perspective. Granted it took a LONG time but I look back and smile at the good times, shake my head at the bad and really accepted ... key word ACCEPTED (Not understood) what has happened and this is my next chapter where ever it may lead.
There is light on the other side if you focus on you .. I promise you this.
