In all seriousness though, i agree, but it wont make EXW go away in my head.
This is a limiting belief. If you can't even come to a place where you believe that she can be out of your head, if you can't even IMAGINE that, you cannot create a path to reach there. I am sorry, but you can jump around and scream it out loud that you want her out of your head, but if you don't BELIEVE you can, then you won't. That's your first step. Visualize the reality and life where she's not in your head. Straight up truth.
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I think the only things that will do that are Time, Finalizing D, the TRO getting lifted so its not a leverage point for her to manipulate, more time, and eventually meeting someone else when i am ready.
Time doesn't heal $hit. Don't you know someone who's still bitter about something that happened to them years ago, and they let that moment of their life define who they are now? I know people like that.
Time doesn't heal you, YOU do! You have to put in the work for yourself. Finalizing the D, lifting the TRO, etc are pit stops in your journey. They are events that won't magically heal you.
You have work to do. This is not easy. This is hard and struggling work. But it is the most rewarding work. I wasn't as ruminative about my W's texts etc, but I did analyze every little thing until it was exhausting and I didn't feel any better and I didn't know any better. You're just doing it a higher degree than anyone else. Aren't you tired of this?
First personal milestone and goal - I will do the work to be able to not obsess over little things in life, including what people say and do. I will learn the subtle art of not giving a f$uck (Mark Manson's words).
I can't give you the recipe. The recipe is in the work and practice. You can read crapload of books, but if you don't embrace the suck, you're not going to learn and grow. Again, I know this is hard, but it is the only way out.
I completely cosign JRuss on the meditation. I love it and it has done wonders for me. Stick with it for at least 3 months before you make a decision whether it works for you or not.
